Apiece Apart? Apiece of crap.

I was eating a pile of fried chicken while browsing some of the videos on Style.com when I discovered a short film embedded in their blog. The description sounded promising, an intellectual smoothie of cultural references including Lawrence of Arabia and color theory.

Now, I took a few film classes in college and have consumed my fair share of bite sized film chunks dripping with text book examples of “good” cinematography and seasoned by cheap metaphors.  Those experiences did make me grateful for one aspect of Apiece Apart’s “spring short”: that it was short.

My first instinct is to make a comment like “the fashion industry should stick to fashion”. But you know, that’s not the problem here. Fashion definitely influences other art forms. As an “artistic” photographer I have always listed fashion photography among my primary influences. And fashion incorporates many artistic mediums, from music to painting. Besides, a fashion designer didn’t make that film. Clearly there was a legitimate director being credited at the end. Of course there’s the chance that the director was merely a patsy, carrying out the brand’s desire to manifest its’ own convoluted self images.

But all this is besides the point. That video was the most cliché, contrived, artsy-fartsy piece of crap that I have seen in a very very long time. I know pathologically lazy college drop-out stoners who could’ve whipped up something better using the video capabilities of their cell phones. In fact, lower production quality might have actually improved the film by giving it some texture and character. It was so trite and conceited it could’ve passed as one of those fake commercials on Saturday Night Live. It’s like someone put a metaphorical tree up the metaphorical butt of that film.

If you don’t believe me, watch it for yourself.